Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Finally – at long last!

When you start out doing something for the first time, you always have a certain mindset going forward. Once you are hip deep in it all, you realize just how right – and wrong – you were when you began.

Most Canadian kids, at some juncture, wish to be an astronaut, firefighter, or Prime Minister – or all three. Life and fate tend to weed out all but the most brave and committed of souls. For me, I had always wanted to write a book. I don’t necessarily understand why – it was just something that had always appealed to me.

For years, I wrote, but it never seemed to amount to much. Finally, about eight years ago, I resolved to stubbornly shepherd something as far as I could take it. That became my first book, “The Case for Commonwealth Free Trade,” published by Trafford in 2005.

Writing that book did three things for me. One, it allowed me to articulate many deeply held views. It also gave me an introduction to people and to circumstances I might not otherwise have had the chance to enjoy. Lastly, but just as important, it broke my internal resistance – the thing that made me start a writing project, then conveniently toss it aside before I took it to the end.

Two days ago, at about nine at night, I reached the point that, for better or worse, I could do no more. I don’t know if this is indicative of all writers, but I had a voice inside my head that said “It’s done – play with it anymore and you’ll just break it.”

And so, I have completed my first novel, entitled “Lulio”.

It has no sexually driven vampires, and no pre-pubescent wizards, so it is markedly different than 99 percent of what you’ll find in your local bookstore. It does, however, have the following:



• Wall Street corruption

• Seedy motivational speakers

• Cold War spying

• Prostitution (and yet with no sex?)

• Mistaken identity

• 1980’s karaoke performed with a very thick Cuban accent

• …and a large fiberglass hotdog

You will have surmised that this is not high literature, and if it were a movie, it would be a cross between a film adaptation of Voltaire’s “Candide” and the Farrelly brothers’ “Dumb and Dumber”.

It may not get me invited to have drinks in the lobby of the Algonquin with John Irving, but it was fun to imagine and to scribe. It’s fiction, and it’s supposed to be fun. I don’t want to change the world, or buy it a Coke, or anything. I would, however, like to know that somewhere, someone reading it is laughing at its rather rude and naughty bits.

It is published through Smashwords as an e-book, and in the coming days will (hopefully) be available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple and other online retailers.

Enjoy!

PS. No-one I know, or have ever been within twenty feet of, is a character in this book. Besides, I don’t think that you would really want to be!